At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
