What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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