Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
