its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize