That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
