I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
