somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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