Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
