Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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