she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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