she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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