can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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