Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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