i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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