We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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