I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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