Kiss
Puke
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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