I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
