fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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