brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
