Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Mom said you looked used
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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