hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
