We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
