would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
