Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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