dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
