I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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