i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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