you traded sex for a burrito?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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