That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
