Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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