so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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