Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
