my vag is so smooth its legendary
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
