can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
