Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
