Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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