This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
