"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
