This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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