Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
