cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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