Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
