Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
