So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
