why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
