i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
