are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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