Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
