I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
