you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
